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To change your perception, ask yourself, “What else could this mean?” or “ What's great about this?” Kuppens, P., Realo, A., & Diener, E. (2008). The role of positive and negative emotions in life satisfaction judgment across nations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 95(1), 66–75.
b) Appreciate the encouragement to improve. Understand you don't need to be perfect. You can begin to feel adequate by commiting to constant and never-ending improvement.b) Realize that even if a person did violate one of your standards, your rules are not necessarily the “right” rules. Mastering your emotions is not only about being aware of them, but also making a conscious choice to change your focus and have more enjoyable emotions as a result. And the last one of the emotional triad is your language. Every emotion is an action signal. It’s your body’s way of communicating with you. But sometimes, it’s challenging to determine the precise message. Here’s a guide to help you decode these signals: Message: Tells you that you've violated one of your own highest standards and must do something immediately to ensure you're not going to violate that standard again. This is a good, because it's your internal compass for doing what you believe to be right.
We've all been guilty of denying our feelings one way or another, but this unhealthy emotional management actually causes you more harm than good.
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If all this introspection sounds unnecessary, realize that people pay good money to therapists and life coaches for exactly this purpose: To help them reframe situations. They enlist these practitioners to help them find the most useful categorizations so they can choose the most appropriate actions to take. You can do this yourself and become an expert categorizer of emotion with enough practice, and you’ll find it gets easier with repetition. c) Realize you may be judging too soon. Often it's just a temporary challenge. Remember, “God's delays are not God's denials.” You may just be in “lag time”, or have unrealistic expectations. Perhaps the easiest way to gain concepts is to learn new words. You’ve probably never thought about learning words as a path to greater emotional health, but it follows directly from the neuroscience of construction. Words seed your concepts, concepts drive your predictions, predictions regulate your body budget (which is how your brain anticipates and fulfills your body’s energy needs), and your body budget determines how you feel. People who exhibit higher emotional granularity go to the doctor less frequently, use medication less frequently, and spend fewer days hospitalized for illness. This is not magic; it’s what happens when you leverage the porous boundary between the social and the physical.
Message: Re-evaluate whats most important to you in this situation. May have unrealistic expectations of trying to deal with too many things at once, or trying to change things overnight. Grief happens when you feel like there's no empowering meaning, or your life is being negatively impacted by people, events, or forces that are outside of your control. The author, who is an introvert, was unable to accomplish the things he wanted in life because he was shy. When he took the commitment to devote his life to being a better person, everything began to shift. This article details his path to fulfilment and pleasure. Being in control of your emotions can be difficult for many people. To become aware of your emotional state, and then take steps to direct it in a different direction that will work to your advantage, can seem like an impossible feat. This is where emotional mastery comes in. Message: An expectation you have had is probably not going to happen, so it's time to change your expectations to make them more appropriate for this situation, take action to set and achieve a new goal immediately. This is good as it shows the depth of the caring you have and the high standards your set. Talking about feelings and expressing emotions can help manage emotions and provide vital new perspectives.There you have it. Those are the 10 Action Signals, the message behind them, and the solution to master them.
Bringing together experts from multiple research disciplines, Barrett and co-authors offer incredible insight into the biology and neuroscience behind emotions and guidance from a clinical perspective. a) Realize you may have misinterpreted the situation completely. Maybe the person breaking your rules don't realize how important it is to you. Evolutionary psychologist Randolph Nesse (1990) describes emotions as “ specialized modes of operation shaped by natural selection” to influence behavior in response to “ threats and opportunities.”As I've mentioned throughout this blog post, Tony Robbins refers to negative emotions as “Action Signals”. Meaning, every negative emotion has a message or call to action it's trying to give you. We want to identify that message, then learn and use our emotions to better us. A person with high emotional intelligence is always better at making healthy choices both in life and love. A woman who is a master of her emotions knows better than letting self-doubt get the best of her. Whenever you start feeling mad or upset about someone or something, it's always best to take a pause, recognize and accept your feelings, remember that they will pass at some point, and then let them go. There's no use dwelling on a negative emotion when you know that it won't last forever.
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